1) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
2) Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Cha-Cha."
3) Send email to the rest of the company telling them exactly what you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
4) Highlight your shoes. Tell people you haven't lost them as much since you did this.
5) Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle. When you emerge to get coffee or a printout, slap yourself randomly the whole way.
6) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is of a different gender than you.
7) Put a chair facing a printer. Sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document.
8) Every time someone asks you to do something, anything, ask them if they want fries with that.
9) Send email back and forth to yourself engaging yourself in an intellectual debate. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.
10) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair-dancing.
11) Put your trash can on your desk. Label it "IN."
12) Send email messages saying there's free pizza or donuts or cake in the lunchroom. When people drift back to work complaining that they found none, lean back, pat your stomach and say, "oh you've got to be faster than that."
13) Put decaf in the coffeemaker for three weeks. Once everyone has withdrawn from a caffeine addiction, switch to espresso. |
